I am Ann Landers.

GRUNGY BAR MEN BY: ANGIE HOOVER

drunken frat boy: yo baby girl

me: are you talking to me?

drunken fratboy: aren’t you hot in that? don’t you want to take off that packet?

I mean jacket? Sorry babydoll I been drinksin

me: pardon?

drunken fratboy: damn girl, your breath smells hella good , you want my number? Give me your phone, baby.

me: Oh yeah i love punch. Some punch would be phenomenal.

drunken fratboy: no girl, I’m hollarin atchya. You know. You want my number?

me: I like the red kind that they have. With the hawaiin midget character on the can.

drunken fratboy: Naw. I want yo’ digits so I could hit you up yaknow what I’m saying.

me: ok. I will just get some for the both of us then.

pretending you can’t hear is always an easy way to ditch drunken boys at a party.. even if the room is completely silent