BRB is an acronym for ” Be right back”…. and I will

GONE FISHIN’

BE BACK ON THE MOST MISERABLE AND DISAPPOINTING DAY OF THE WEEK:

MONDAY

or as I like to call it, ” The Day after copious amounts of alcohol, 4 visits to Denny’s, and 7 or 8 regrettable decisions”

and yes,

that text message you sent to your ex -girlfriend was THAT desperate and humiliating

see jew soon

- Belafonte

It’s the weekend, you deserve some young perky tatas.

I know you’ve been jonesin’ for areolas since 10:30 this morning. Well don’t worry we’ve got a ton of celebrity sweater meat on display for you here at LeaveittoBeaver.

Feast your eyes on these melons.

If you look closely you can pinpoint the second that these women lose their self-respect.

Now it’s time to eat something that has a shit-ton of gravy on it and watch my stories, punkin.

“I’m gonna rape you at 3 o’clock. Be there”

Celebrity Lesbian Wedding Announcement #2

Everytime a lesbosaurus gets married an Angel gets a pair of Birkenstock sandles and 4 earth tone polo shirts.

-Belafonte

Survey Says

MILEY CYRUS makes me want to….

a

a) vomit for the rest of forever

b) smile and laugh while i buy her albums and have dance parties

c) drink until i am drunk enough to forget that Miley Cyrus is a person that exists in my reality

I know she is 15 and I know that she has unfortunate teeth but she also has about 7 million dollars and the power to make 3 year olds enjoy wearing  tube tops. This poll is the first step towards getting a unanimous vote that will inevitabley lead to her demise. So come on guys. Let’s extinguish the Hannah Montana Flame before I  get my tubes tied for fear of her influence on my future daughters and flamboyantly gay sons.

make your decision wisely.

Good Night and Good Luck.. with celebrity nipples.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE :

I was busted by the internet vagina picture feds. Apparently Lindsay Lohan’s poon is public domain but other celebrities don’t want their labia on my blog.

You can find More degraded sluts exposing themselves on my new blog.

It’s that time of day.

The sun is going down and the fame whore nipples are going up. Please enjoy this collection of exposed sucky suck teets before you go home and enjoy a long overdue bong rip.

 

LIONS AND TIGERS AND TRASH, OH MY!

feel free to get a boner and leak semen all over your keyboard.

 

I am Ann Landers.

GRUNGY BAR MEN BY: ANGIE HOOVER

drunken frat boy: yo baby girl

me: are you talking to me?

drunken fratboy: aren’t you hot in that? don’t you want to take off that packet?

I mean jacket? Sorry babydoll I been drinksin

me: pardon?

drunken fratboy: damn girl, your breath smells hella good , you want my number? Give me your phone, baby.

me: Oh yeah i love punch. Some punch would be phenomenal.

drunken fratboy: no girl, I’m hollarin atchya. You know. You want my number?

me: I like the red kind that they have. With the hawaiin midget character on the can.

drunken fratboy: Naw. I want yo’ digits so I could hit you up yaknow what I’m saying.

me: ok. I will just get some for the both of us then.

pretending you can’t hear is always an easy way to ditch drunken boys at a party.. even if the room is completely silent

My 90’s Man meat countdown

I am not one for grotesque man meat but give me A.C. Slater in a hypercolor muscle shirt and I will vomit from the excitement. Without further adeu,

MY FAVORITE 90′S BEEFCAKES:

10. “WHEN I TALK TO LAURA SHE CREAMS IN HER PANTIES BECAUSE I AM JUST SO DAMNED SMOOTH. “

STEFAN URQUELLE

9. “WE DON’T POUND EACH OTHER’S BUTTHOLES WE JUST LIKE TO WORK OUT A LOT AND WATCH SPORTS IN BETWEEN TEARIN’ UP THE PUSSY, OF COURSE”

A.C. SLATER

AND OUR FAVORITE PREPPY BED-WETTER,

ZACK MORRIS

8.”MY COCK IS THE SIZE OF A FUCKING KEILBASA AND I DEFINITELY WANT TO BANG YOU WITH IT”

MARKY MARK

7. DUMB-AS-A-ROCK

JOEY LAWRENCE

6. OUR VERY OWN LOW-RENT BATMAN..

ANGEL

5. SEXY SCIENTIST TYPE AND RESIDENT SOFT-SPOKEN GENTLEMAN

DR. SAM BECKET

4. THE BIGGEST AND THE BEST OF ALL MOTORCYCLE DRIVING, 40-YEAR-OLD HIGHSCHOOL STUDENTS

LUKE PERRY.

3. “MY VEST IS ALWAYS OPEN AND 40 YEAR OLD BITCHES LOVE THAT SHIT”

HERCULES

2. ALL THE WAY FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS,

PACEY WITTER

and finally our #1 tortured, ” I secretly never learned how to read and my home life is dog shit” 90’s babe……

JORDAN CATALLANO

Do you wonder what the shit I look like ?

Why don’t you guess.

One of these photos is me. If you guess right I will send you a werthers toffee hard candy from my grandmother’s purse.

so …

Am I

A)

Olivia Newton-John in a photo still from the Lavandar alien rollerskating movie Xanadu ?

B)

The entire cast of Saved By the Bell?

C)

A heavyset hippo/dog with a striped green t-shirt on?

or

D)

Willie Nelson?

- Belafonte

Leave it to Beaver

 

IMPORTANT MESSAGE :

 I was busted by the internet vagina picture feds. Apparently Lindsay Lohan’s poon is public domain but other celebrities don’t want their labia on my blog.

You can find More degraded sluts exposing themselves on my new blog.

I thought we would end our  Wednesday by exposing and a humiliating a few of my favorite pantiless celebrities. There is nothing like flapping teenage vaj to take the edge off.

Try not to vomit when you see Lindsay Lohan’s roast beef. It’s been used and abused but it deserves a little respect.

 

 

- Belafonte

 

 

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer

because young Lord Voldemort will reach down your throat and rip out your wizard-loving heart if you don’t pay $11.00 to watch his new movie.