My 90’s Man meat countdown

I am not one for grotesque man meat but give me A.C. Slater in a hypercolor muscle shirt and I will vomit from the excitement. Without further adeu,

MY FAVORITE 90′S BEEFCAKES:

10. “WHEN I TALK TO LAURA SHE CREAMS IN HER PANTIES BECAUSE I AM JUST SO DAMNED SMOOTH. “

STEFAN URQUELLE

9. “WE DON’T POUND EACH OTHER’S BUTTHOLES WE JUST LIKE TO WORK OUT A LOT AND WATCH SPORTS IN BETWEEN TEARIN’ UP THE PUSSY, OF COURSE”

A.C. SLATER

AND OUR FAVORITE PREPPY BED-WETTER,

ZACK MORRIS

8.”MY COCK IS THE SIZE OF A FUCKING KEILBASA AND I DEFINITELY WANT TO BANG YOU WITH IT”

MARKY MARK

7. DUMB-AS-A-ROCK

JOEY LAWRENCE

6. OUR VERY OWN LOW-RENT BATMAN..

ANGEL

5. SEXY SCIENTIST TYPE AND RESIDENT SOFT-SPOKEN GENTLEMAN

DR. SAM BECKET

4. THE BIGGEST AND THE BEST OF ALL MOTORCYCLE DRIVING, 40-YEAR-OLD HIGHSCHOOL STUDENTS

LUKE PERRY.

3. “MY VEST IS ALWAYS OPEN AND 40 YEAR OLD BITCHES LOVE THAT SHIT”

HERCULES

2. ALL THE WAY FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS,

PACEY WITTER

and finally our #1 tortured, ” I secretly never learned how to read and my home life is dog shit” 90’s babe……

JORDAN CATALLANO

Belafonte’s favorite torpedos

1. Righty and Lefty

pictured above: Resident busty semen bucket, Brandy Taylor

2. Nip and Nap

pictured above: Porn star extraordinaire and out and out ho-bag, Gianna

3. The Blue-footed Booby

pictured above: rare Ecuadorian seabird known for it’s periwinkle footies.

4. Space ball and flying saucer

pictured above: Alien whore and violent sex soldier, Barbarella

5. Joey Lawrence

no explanation necessary

All links in this post go to Free Gianna and Brandy movies. Most of which you can buy new for $3.95.

YEAH, SERIOUSLY.