Blast from MY past

yes, when I was 18 I lived with my mother, decided that college was for everyone except for me, and speant 14 hours a day sending AIM messages to friends that were away from their computers doing homework.

I ALSO TOOK A LOT OF BONG LOADS

MathewPerryL0vr (9:55:01 PM): hey yo
MathewPerryL0vr (9:56:40 PM): where are you brotha
MathewPerryL0vr (9:58:26 PM): yo yo yo … i just be getting mo’ blacker the longer you wait kid
MathewPerryL0vr (10:00:35 PM): .. alright my teeth are now plated in gold … there is a bitch sucking my nuts and i am breaking bottles of chrystal to relieve my boredom
MathewPerryL0vr (10:02:50 PM): .. ouch… sorry my little brother just ran over my toe with the custom-made bentley wheel chair i bought him
MathewPerryL0vr (10:04:18 PM): brb – i need to go and design a clothing line called “fat ho cake”
MathewPerryL0vr (10:09:14 PM): .. i am back – i hope you dont mind that i decided to bath in diamonds before i came back to the computer
MathewPerryL0vr (10:09:43 PM): .. i fucked elizabeth hurley too
MathewPerryL0vr (10:10:28 PM): oh no i spilled my cocaine all over the keyboard
MathewPerryL0vr (10:10:44 PM): .. oh well thats what vacuums are for i suppose
MathewPerryL0vr (10:13:52 PM): time to watch cheers
MathewPerryL0vr (10:14:08 PM): .. do you see how i went from being really black to being a washed up rocck star…
MathewPerryL0vr (10:14:18 PM): it’s a fine line my brother – a fine line

Clearly I also enjoyed Matthew Perry of the TV hit, “Friends”

- Angie

BRB is an acronym for ” Be right back”…. and I will

GONE FISHIN’

BE BACK ON THE MOST MISERABLE AND DISAPPOINTING DAY OF THE WEEK:

MONDAY

or as I like to call it, ” The Day after copious amounts of alcohol, 4 visits to Denny’s, and 7 or 8 regrettable decisions”

and yes,

that text message you sent to your ex -girlfriend was THAT desperate and humiliating

see jew soon

- Belafonte

It’s the weekend, you deserve some young perky tatas.

I know you’ve been jonesin’ for areolas since 10:30 this morning. Well don’t worry we’ve got a ton of celebrity sweater meat on display for you here at LeaveittoBeaver.

Feast your eyes on these melons.

If you look closely you can pinpoint the second that these women lose their self-respect.

Now it’s time to eat something that has a shit-ton of gravy on it and watch my stories, punkin.

“I’m gonna rape you at 3 o’clock. Be there”

Celebrity Lesbian Wedding Announcement #2

Everytime a lesbosaurus gets married an Angel gets a pair of Birkenstock sandles and 4 earth tone polo shirts.

-Belafonte

Am I Dead of Alive?

Hello stranger, I am Dom Delouise.

I had a principle role in the animated feature All Dogs Go to Heaven. Nobody knows if I have ever worked on anything else in my entire life. I clearly have high cholesterol as well as advanced diabetes due to my 700 pound face and body. No man woman or child has heard my name out loud in over 2 decades.

So I pose the question, ” Am I gambling away my last $4 leftover from a lifetime movie I did in 1996 or am I pushing up daisies in a Van Nuys Cemetary?”

GET UP STAND UP when you’re done with those dorritos

Attention: Men and women with extremely baggy pants, glow in the dark attire, and “a really AWESOME hand made piece from Cabo”

Get out your zig zags and turn on the black light.

It’s time to trip out.

Can you pass the Acid Test?

Survey Says

MILEY CYRUS makes me want to….

a

a) vomit for the rest of forever

b) smile and laugh while i buy her albums and have dance parties

c) drink until i am drunk enough to forget that Miley Cyrus is a person that exists in my reality

I know she is 15 and I know that she has unfortunate teeth but she also has about 7 million dollars and the power to make 3 year olds enjoy wearing  tube tops. This poll is the first step towards getting a unanimous vote that will inevitabley lead to her demise. So come on guys. Let’s extinguish the Hannah Montana Flame before I  get my tubes tied for fear of her influence on my future daughters and flamboyantly gay sons.

make your decision wisely.

Wake Up!

What’s a Friday morning without a few bitches who would blow the town hobo for just one lick of the resin in his crackpipe?

Please enjoy yourself and take a look at some modern day sword swallowers.

I bought weed from a pornstar once. I thought she harvested corn and squash because she had clumps of mudd and grass painted onto her legs.

“Oh no!” she said ” Nothing like that. I was just doing a scene in the hills at Chatsworth park where I had to kneel down next to an oak tree and get my asshole banged out by two black men”

She then showed me and Lance 6 pictures of her getting humped with a strap on and said, ” Which one looks best? I don’t want to the wrong one up on my site and look stupid“

Gigantic Oriental Chest Pillows

Minka love your cockles long time

and her handball

titties are ready to devour any balls she sees.

Careful though. Those boulders have been known to crush 2 year old children.

I have spoken to Minka the asian boob queen once in my life and her words will stay with me always.

“You come with me. You come with me. I tennis pro. I know cute hunky babe man to marry you in California. He love you.”

beauty and brains.

All links in this post go to free porn movies like

“Big Tit Bondage”

starring the one, the only, Minka.

Good Night and Good Luck.. with celebrity nipples.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE :

I was busted by the internet vagina picture feds. Apparently Lindsay Lohan’s poon is public domain but other celebrities don’t want their labia on my blog.

You can find More degraded sluts exposing themselves on my new blog.

It’s that time of day.

The sun is going down and the fame whore nipples are going up. Please enjoy this collection of exposed sucky suck teets before you go home and enjoy a long overdue bong rip.

 

LIONS AND TIGERS AND TRASH, OH MY!

feel free to get a boner and leak semen all over your keyboard.