BRB is an acronym for ” Be right back”…. and I will

GONE FISHIN’

BE BACK ON THE MOST MISERABLE AND DISAPPOINTING DAY OF THE WEEK:

MONDAY

or as I like to call it, ” The Day after copious amounts of alcohol, 4 visits to Denny’s, and 7 or 8 regrettable decisions”

and yes,

that text message you sent to your ex -girlfriend was THAT desperate and humiliating

see jew soon

- Belafonte

A man at the end of his rope.

Things were never the same for TGIF’S Reginald VelJohnson after the cancelation of Family Matters.

but he’s right. It’s just like a mini mall.

“My Black ass was all up in there”

I went to the overcrowded Canoga Park 24hr Laundramat yesterday and I met a heavyset black woman who shared with me all of her Taxicab Confessions.

Basically, I was sitting on top of a washing machine when a short middle-aged woman wobbled over and told me that Tupac ” kept it real” and was ” her favorite motherfucker”. Now I could give a pair of wrinkled saggy balls about which rapper was the realest motherfucker but for fear that she would knife out one of my vital organs if I grabbed my wet clothes and peeled out of the parking lot, I sat there in silence and learned about Exactly what Mick Jagger likes his ghetto ethnic hookers to do for mad cash.

So here’s to you Mick and your strange fixation with coffins and a woman you knew as ” shorty” so many years ago.

Wake up!

The best part of waking up is Folgers and some Cunt.

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Sure they look like 12 year old boys but come on, it’s not your fault that your interests are  so unique. Enjoy a taste of the submissive, 4 foot 10, Asian fetish fantasy that awaits you below.

Now go on and have yourself a hard day of paperwork, impatient customers, and water cooler discussions about MTV’s The Hills.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer

because young Lord Voldemort will reach down your throat and rip out your wizard-loving heart if you don’t pay $11.00 to watch his new movie.

Belafonte’s favorite torpedos

1. Righty and Lefty

pictured above: Resident busty semen bucket, Brandy Taylor

2. Nip and Nap

pictured above: Porn star extraordinaire and out and out ho-bag, Gianna

3. The Blue-footed Booby

pictured above: rare Ecuadorian seabird known for it’s periwinkle footies.

4. Space ball and flying saucer

pictured above: Alien whore and violent sex soldier, Barbarella

5. Joey Lawrence

no explanation necessary

All links in this post go to Free Gianna and Brandy movies. Most of which you can buy new for $3.95.

YEAH, SERIOUSLY.

Tristen Ludlow

Before there was Brangelina,

There was dirty, rugged Tristen Ludlow and a curly haired brunette.

Crazed youtube fanatic, Ljay211986 remembers just as well as I do. So celebrate Wednesday by watching Brad Pitt hump away at Susannah’s virgin pocket. I am sure that Ljay211986 sync’d up the naked fun to a good-old fashioned Celine Dion tune that will naturally distract and confuse you so you might want to turn down the volume.

Batman and Robbery

Low-rent Joker thwarted by Police.

Police in Michigan have arrested joker impersonator and professional booger, Spencer Taylor for attempting to pocket batman posters, batman junk, and everything else Batman in a theater lobby.
Spencer Taylor of Three Rivers has been booked for investigation of larceny and malicious destruction of property.Taylor is scheduled to be arraigned Aug. 5 in St. Joseph County District Court.

Goodbye Three Rivers High School drama club. Hello arraignment.

Up in Smoke

They’re old!

They’re broke!

…and they’re going on tour!

Before Tommy Chong put his brand of crack pipes on the market, he made movies about doing drugs and loving it. Now that he’s out of the slammer, he is ready to pair up with his piggy friend {Cheech} for a national comedy tour called, “What’s that Smell?”

I might have to puff puff pass on this one.

Wake Up!

For those of you who think coffee tastes like something that’s been sitting at the bottom of the L.A. river for 35 years, I have the next best wake me up.

PUSSY

Please enjoy these pictures of your very favorite woman that does bang bang for money and fame.